With so much going on, it can be easy to feel out of control, and that can be pretty scary. We can invest a lot of energy in trying to control things, and how draining is that! All of our precious life energy can be sucked out to in a huge, even desperate effort to make sure things go the way we think they should, just to protect ourselves, and to make us feel safe, secure, and confident.

And the thing is- most things we can’t control at all. Certainly we have no control over other people, and no real control over most outcomes. We think that if we do certain things and work hard with a lot of determination, we will have certain results. However, as soon as a crisis shows up, we realize how little control we have over so much of what happens.

What we do have total control over is our attitude- how we act and what we tell ourselves, how we prioritize, and how well we take care of ourselves. So there are plenty of things that we can control and what becomes important is to focus on those things, and to surrender what we can’t control to the flow of life.

This has been such a challenge for me at times. When I want something, and I work really hard, I become really attached. I have learned that it is so much more useful to recognize when I have done everything I can, and then to let go of the results and just trust. Cultivating a sense of trust, and being in the flow, mitigates that fearful anxiety that can arise when we don’t know what will happen. Breathing into this sense of the unknown brings a sense of adventure and a feeling that, no matter what, we will be okay.   We have what it takes to deal with whatever comes. And this is so true when we are focused on taking care of ourselves, and aligning our priorities with what is important.

In Chinese medicine, the Wood energy wants to grow, it helps us create a vision and a plan, but it has to act in service to the Heart. All things must serve the Heart. There is no point in getting caught up in a plan if you lose sight of the overall goal- to feel happy and relaxed. And that is achieved by letting go more often, concentrating on being the best person we can be, staying compassionate, allowing rather than efforting, and getting out of the way so that things unfold as they are meant to, rather than as we, with our limited awareness, think they should. We are so much more powerful than we realize, and can accomplish so much just by setting intentions, and attending to things as they emerge, rather than trying to steer things tightly in a certain direction. We can actually create a kind of resistance to the flow of life with our need to control.

Ask yourself- “is this really within my control?”, and feel empowered by the answer. If it isn’t- step aside, surrender, trust, allow, and experience your own peaceful focus on those things that matter to you, that you can control, like your own self care.