Sometimes I feel so stuck, a physical pain takes a long time to heal or I can’t find a solution to an emotional challenge. I know I have to grow. If things don’t change, I have to seek help, I can’t do it alone.

Change, healing, and growth are components of life that we don’t want to avoid.   But they can involve risk, pain, and challenge, so we sometimes need help to step up, to know what to do, and find support to do it

Our body can signal us that change is needed with physical pain and illness. Negative emotions are a strong sign that we have to do something differently.

Too often though, especially with negative emotions, instead of taking responsibility and looking for ways to shift, we look outside ourselves and project and blame. Or, instead of opening to the possibility of change, we shut down and become depressed, discouraged, or overwhelmed.

We may realize that change is needed, but not have the courage or impetus to make change.

We have to risk letting go of patterns, perhaps long standing ones, in order to let in new behaviors and thoughts that could serve us better.

We have to be willing to sever connections that are no longer healthy, to stop over- giving or seeking approval for its own sake, to risk conflict instead of sacrificing authenticity, and to have boundaries around inappropriate behavior.

We may need to overcome inertia to take on a healthier habit, or face our fear of failure to try a new way of doing things.

Life requires work, if we want to live fully: the work of changing ourselves to meet changing circumstances and to back up our insights with action. We may have a sense of what we need to do to feel whole and happy, but we have to take action.

And sometimes we need a lot of support to do that.  Sometimes there are old traumas or very deep patterns, and we may have a lot of denial to overcome, as it frequently feels very unsafe to change or to uncover old wounds.

We may be very stuck.

I love my work because I support people in the transformative process of stepping up to bring change.

Acupuncture connects people to their own inner resources to heal.

My new company, Journey for Purpose, is about creating supportive community and transformative experiences that empower change, healing, and growth.

What can you do today to support yourself on this journey through life? This journey that requires so much courage, so much commitment, so much love? This journey of releasing resistance and embracing what is being offered- this amazing opportunity to face our fears and open to life, connection, and joy.

I am embracing the things that I love, that make me feel good- writing, singing, paddling, entertaining. I am planning things that excite me and learning new things. I am loving my peeps and reaching out.

I am making time to be there for those who need me. I am deepening into my work, trying to serve in a more meaningful way.

I am incorporating rituals to call on unseen powers for help. I am doing what I can to bring change to the troubled world, mostly by helping others in their work.

And in my moments of doubt and despair, when I am overwhelmed or feel that I don’t have what it takes to do what I need to do, I turn to you, my community, for support and encouragement, to remind me of what is true.

We can do this, together.

I recently returned from Europe. I had been invited to join a friend to walk the Camino de Santiago de Compostela, starting in Porto, Portugal. The Camino is a pilgrimage and there are many routes that end in Santiago, the most popular goes across Northern Spain. These are ancient routes traveled by pilgrims for hundreds of years for many different reasons, and they are gaining in popularity again. We set out on the Portuguese Camino.

The routes are serviced by hostels or albeurges, which are very low cost and by lots of small cafes and restaurants. The routes are maintained by the local municipalities and also by larger organizations, which tend the route or the Way or Camino, as it is called. The Way is marked by painted yellow arrows everywhere along the route where there might be a question about which way to turn.

The Way winds through paths and alleys, bordered by fields and stone walls, it goes through villages and through the old centers of towns, and occasionally you follow a road. It is a beautiful route, an incredible experience, and you meet many other pilgrims along the way. As you travel along, you are guided by the yellow arrows, pointing your way to your destination, Santiago.

After 5 days of walking I developed plantar fasciitis and on the 6^th day it became evident that I couldn’t walk much further. Change of plans. I had to look inside for my own inner yellow arrow and I ended up visiting friends in Italy and having an amazing time. I am forever grateful that I had the flexibility to embrace a new plan and to give myself over to finding joy despite disappointment.

If we cling to an idea or a plan that isn’t working, if we are not flexible in our thinking, if we can’t shift, change, and grow- we risk a shrinking world where we can’t take on things that challenge us. We lose our capacity for life and sometimes miss out on marvelous but unplanned experiences. And if we can’t find our own inner arrow, we might not heed the choice that will bring us to where we need to be, despite what we had planned.

How to find your inner arrow?

• Practice listening to your heart and be aware of small signs and signals. Little miracles and synchronicities abound when you are open to them, and can often validate choices.
• Notice fear and resistance, or your own tendency to be obsessive rather than flexible. Use these feelings as a cue that something can be gained by moving forward despite resistance, by facing fear.
• Give yourself space to dream and imagine. Think about how you would like to feel, and in the emptiness of the imagination, let possibilities emerge.
• Remember that moving out of your comfort zone, out of the ordinary, can often be a catalyst for great insight and growth. Embrace change. Stay open to the invitation that is there.
• Clear out the clutter of old beliefs that no longer serve. Question your assumptions- what is the underlying belief that is at the core of your feeling. Are you making a plan to keep yourself safe, or are you limiting yourself.
• Sometimes we just “aren’t in the mood” for something different- could you decide to expand your capacity, to change your mood by being open to new possibilities.
• We can use our energy to make commitments to ourselves- make useful ones. Commit to appreciating opportunities as they arise, even if they are uncomfortable.
• There is a lot to be gained by dealing with discomfort- we can gain skill and awareness. Stay in the moment, noticing the things around you. Taking joy in the beauty of the world can help ease concern about change.
• Connect with others from your heart. Many people are ready to be kind and helpful and seek only appreciation. If we can relax enough to be present, we can have wonderful meaningful connections with strangers and we can find a lot of support for our path.
• Who knows why things happen the way they do. Be open to the gift of everything. You just never know how something will turn out, so withhold your judgment and go with the flow, doing the best you can.
• There are many ways to get where you are going, and many places to go. Enjoy the journey. It is all we really have.

We talked a lot about energy medicine on the Journey for Deep Healing to Oaxaca. Traditional healers or curanderos practice a kind of energy medicine. Acupuncture is also energy medicine, as is anything that stimulates a person’s capacity to heal. Energy medicine works on emotions as well as on physical illness. Energy medicine is part of the practice of self care.

Negative emotions are a type of dis- ease and indeed can solidify into a physical illness. It is easier to transform a problem before it settles in and takes root as a pattern held in the body.

So we work on transforming our emotions and we work on the big question of our time, how to take care of ourselves so that we experience real wellbeing .

We are never taught how to take care of ourselves on a deep level- beyond eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, paying attention to our diet, and taking appropriate supplements.

Sometimes something is in the way of our doing all that, and to care for ourselves, we have to address our emotions and things that keep us stuck.

Some wonderful wisdom emerged about radical self care-

• Make care of your self a priority. We are better able to serve if we can fill ourselves up. So ask yourself, is this good for me? Will this serve me?

Too often we act out of a sense of obligation or because of an unquestioned obsession, or even because of resentment- “I’ll show them.” If we can truly look into the recesses of our heart and shine a light on our choices, we can refine our behavior and more clearly let things pass that aren’t going to cultivate the qualities we want to manifest.

• Release others to follow their path and learn what they need to know. People will only learn and take in what they are ready to use, and sometimes people need to experience things for themselves before they can truly understand.

One of the hardest things we need to do is to allow others this process, instead of trying to intervene, fix, or help. Sometimes our own good intentions keep the ones we love trapped in their pattern by not letting them find their own way.

• We have to do our best to maintain equanimity, and to remember that there are toxic energies in the world, and we have to protect ourselves. We can find ourselves impacted by others. Instead of staying centered, calm, and with a peaceful mind, we are reactive.

We might feel threatened or afraid, or we can respond to others with judgment and irritation, lacking compassion and forgiveness, or we can become victimized by jealousy and envy. It can be helpful to cut energetic ties with those who really trigger us.

And we have to concentrate on our own care, on doing what we know to do to bring us back to a peaceful centered place, so that we are stronger.

• We need to develop a tool kit when things are going well, so that we have established practices that we can turn to when the going gets rough. These can include mediation, breathing routines, expressive arts, getting help through energy treatments like acupuncture, yoga or other physical and spiritual disciplines, tapping, inspiring readings, and any activities that make you feel good and move energy.

Having these things as a part of your daily or weekly routine means that they will be in place when you especially need them. We also need a supportive community as part of our overall self care.

• It is so important to forgo those things that keep us stuck in negative thinking. “Boot the Bitch.”

So often we speak out loud words that deepen our sense of being a victim and don’t contribute at all to the greater good. We need to pay attention to our language and use words that empower us.

If we can let negative thoughts pass through without giving them so much attention or weight, they won’t have such a hold on us and we can get back to a calm peacefulness sooner.

We don’t have to believe everything we think, and even if we believe something for a while- that we truly are a victim rather than an empowered being of great light- we don’t have to share that belief or ask that it be validated.

Instead we can question all the thoughts and feelings that don’t serve us and find another way to look at things so that we come to the conclusion that we really are ok. We are enough, we do enough, we have enough. This is important self care.

• Make an affirmation, here’s mine: Today I take care of myself. And I am so grateful for the hard times that have taught me so much. I know I won’t get out of this life alive, so I don’t resist the moments of suffering that hold so much juicy aliveness. I just ask that they hollow me out and help me become a larger container for joy.

Stress is related to 99% of all illness. How we handle stress can greatly impact our health and well being. Some stress in life is a good thing- it can spur us on to be more resourcefulness and creative, it keeps us engaged and interested. Sometimes there is not much we can do to reduce the amount of stress in our life. We have to work with the thing we can control- how we respond to that stress.

We develop patterns of response over the course of our life. Vulnerable areas and systems in our body eventually feel the effects of stress. It may be our immune system or our muscular skeletal system, many people develop digestive troubles, others feel anxiety with a racing heart. These patterns can become deeper and more intractable.

Western medicine treats the symptoms that we experience and that can be very important.

Alternative and traditional medicine is more likely to work on the cause of our symptoms- how we are coping with stress- and it can disrupt the patterns that have developed and encourage us to respond in new ways with different results. It works on the mind and body and doesn’t differentiate.

It offers help for people who are having trouble digesting food and at the same time works on the tendency to worry, which is mental indigestion, the inability to break things down into absorbable parts or actionable items and to just keep going round and round. The same treatment helps mental or physical indigestion, and helps a person bring change into their life by cultivating the capacity to address what is wrong on a deeper level.

Impacting a person’s energetic system, with tiny needles in acupuncture, or a limpia, a ritual cleansing, or a temezcal, a ritual sweatlodge in Oaxacan Traditional Medicine can awaken a person’s own ability to heal. It is like saying- “hey, try something else, find a new way of looking at things that brings more joy, less pain and constriction, more of a sense of possibility.”

To feel better, mentally, physically, and emotionally, we have to do things differently. We can’t keep doing things the same way and expect a different result. Sometimes it requires breaking out of our comfort zone and trying something new to break out of an old pattern.

Just taking a break, traveling to a new area, being with a group of supportive people, and tapping into a sense of magic and spirit can be a great encouragement to learn new ways of coping with stress and new ways of being that bring more health, happiness, and freedom. Join me for a transformational journey!

I have been working with practitioners of traditional medicine for years now. It has been so wonderful for me that I want everybody to come and experience the same blessings.

As an acupuncturist, I practice a kind of traditional medicine: working with the vital energy that enlivens us and keeps us in balance physically and mentally, stimulating our own internal capacity to heal, and bringing us more in touch with our own inner knowing about what we need, our intuition, and our source of energy and capacity. Yup, best job ever!

The practitioners we work with in Oaxaca share a similar foundation. Oaxacan Traditional Medicine is based on natural rhythms and cycles, it has been handed down through generations, it honors the connection between the mind and the body, and it treats the whole person. It recognizes the importance of spirit. I love that. If we are feeling “spirited” we know we are feeling healthy.

Too often these days in the western world, we are dispirited. Stress makes us anxious and depressed. We are disconnected from any sense of miracle or mystery and we only think about cheap quick fixes for a very deep systemic problem.

If you can step back from your routine and the patterns and tendencies that are ingrained in our culture, and in our upbringing, you can breath life into an internal fire and get excited about life again. Beautiful moving ceremonies can reawaken a sense of wonder and possibility. Prescriptions for healing can include rituals that you can do at home to enhance your sense of knowing and connection. When you add a bit of magic back into your life, the colors are more vibrant, your relationships more precious, and you have more capacity for patience, understanding, and compassion- all those things that we need to help us cope with the challenges we face in our life today.

And it is fun! I love the playfulness that emerges with this kind of earth based, spirit infused practice. Sacred playfulness, soulful ceremony- kind of a code for lots of laughing and deep appreciation for this miracle of a life.

Wow, I don’t know about you, but every time I read the news or hear about what is going on, I feel very concerned.  There are things we can’t ignore- the vulnerability of our planet, institutions that we hold dear, and human lives. Things can change in a minute, and there is a lot of suffering in the world. But something that became clear on my recent trip to Oaxaca is that now, more than ever, we need to let the light inside us grow and shine out, and that won’t happen if we focus on fear.  We need, instead, to focus on what we can do in this moment to stay inspired and connected and to uplift others.

The theme of our trip was how to face this challenging time, with huge events like earthquakes, hurricanes, fires, and a suffering world mirroring a tempestuous political climate stricken by conflict and polarized viewpoints while letting the light inside us shine out into the darkness and finding joy and a playful spirit so that we could truly appreciate our many blessings. 

To cultivate that light, we have to transform fear and deepen our connection to the natural elements. We need to protect ourselves from negativity. In natural rhythms and ancient cultures we can find wisdom about facing obstacles and being with change.  We can learn to sink into our body and to trust, to rest in cycles and in the flow. Too often we stay caught up in our heads, trying to figure things out, and thinking our way into a state of anxiety. We want to explain the unexplainable instead of appreciating the wonder. The brain thinks but the heart knows, so allowing the heart to lead, and relaxing into the place where intuition can emerge is the surest way to allow fear to dissipate and the light of love to lead the way.

We can allow our minds to quiet and calm and to connect to the natural wisdom of our being, the combined resources of our body/mind/spirit, which holds many answers. Our mind wants to control events while our being can surrender to what is and allow things to unfold in their natural order.  Our mind tends to look to the past and the future and is familiar with regret and anticipation while our being knows that the present moment is our power and our grace.

Sometimes we just need to light a candle, or take a deep breath and notice the world around us, in this very moment. Being as loving as we can to the people around us is hugely helpful, as forgiveness and acceptance keep us appreciating the gifts of the present. Turning our attention to gratitude can relieve pain and distress.  Maintaining relationships with people who inspire and encourage us and who appreciate us as we are is a huge support for being the best we can be.  Remember that we are connected, through spirit, to all the people we care about and those who care about us, despite physical distance; we are always supported and never alone. Practice mindfulness, spend time in nature, and just dance, sing, and laugh- joy is the best medicine there is! And sometimes we need something unexpected to awaken a part of ourselves that needs to shine.

In Oaxaca, we lay on the wet earth and let the imprint of our body reveal our soul map. Laying there in the soft warm mud, being held by the earth, and feeling the deep stillness wasn’t easy, it wasn’t totally comfortable, but ultimately we had an amazing, transformative experience.  And a part of ourselves had been revealed through the earth. Later, warming ourselves by the fire on that dark jungle night, we could laugh like wild children, knowing we had faced our fears and really connected to the earth and each other.  We did something totally out of the ordinary and received so much from being present.

Each moment of discomfort can be a moment of empowerment. It can be so very freeing, to not worry so much about having things a certain way, to not be held back by fear, but just to let go and be present in the moment, and let your wild self out, let your light shine!

There are many familiar fears that can hold us back, I know them all, we used to be very friendly. I know to lay them on the altar of the earth so that they can be transformed.  Light them so that they rise as smoke, beseeching heaven, asking unseen powers to assist.  Let them fall back as soft rain to nurture the earth ready for a new growth of fresh ideas. 

We learned so much in Oaxaca, we practiced shining our light and feeling it grow.  We learned to be huge, huge enough to hold the suffering of many, huge enough to not be distracted by the temptations of fear, anger and despair, huge enough to offer love.  Mostly we learned that this is a magic place and a powerful journey, and we were glad we came.  And we really laughed a lot.

There are many ways to cultivate mindfulness and many ways to find joy, even in dark times.  It is important to have a community of support. Thank you for being a part of mine.  Let me know how you are doing.  And I invite you to join me on my next trip to Oaxaca- Feb 21-Mar 2, with a three-day add on at the beach, Mar 2-5.

With love and light

Maria

Spring Courtright, and I led two fabulous Women’s Transformational Kayak Journeys this summer. The experiences were empowering as they provided a certain challenge, a lot of fun, and a way, through sharing and being witnesses for each other, to bring learning back into our lives. Great women wisdom was shared!

Challenges help us to be more aware of our inner state, and with awareness comes freedom. Two predominant themes emerged. One was the desire to connect authentically. People are craving the opportunity to feel connected and to share from their hearts. People long for real heart to heart communication, speaking about what is truly alive and what moves them, and sharing in a way that feels safe and comfortable.

On the trips, when we set the tone and introduced our way of listening and communicating, a valve opened up and gratitude and enthusiasm started pouring out. People were thrilled to be able to be themselves and to be seen and accepted for who they were. We forget how often society demands that we try to be something we are not. We harbor some hidden belief that we are not enough as we are. We fear that people won’t like us or appreciate us if we reveal our true selves. We also constantly face the reality that when we share some tender truth, we often get a response back that is at best not helpful and at worst, actually painful, because most people have never been educated about communication. And some people are in so much pain themselves, that they cannot be supportive of others, and are really best avoided. It is important to let go of toxic relationships, if at all possible, or, to minimize their impact by not taking anything personally.

Creating a safe container is key. Aspects of safety include: holding space for the speaker, refraining from giving advice or bringing up our own story in response to the speaker’s story, and finding a place of non-judgment within ourselves from which we can openheartedly remain curious and receptive about what is true for someone else.

It is amazing how someone’s story can touch something within us, trigger something maybe, and boom… we are off and running about our own issue. But focusing on ourselves is not really supportive of others. We have found that the best way to help people feel fully heard is to sit in a circle and give each person a chance to tell their story without any comment at all, or just a reflection back of what was heard. We support each other with our attention and our open hearts. We listen, accept, feel our common humanity, and offer our love. This is what people want and need.

We would generally ask a deepening question, and everyone would speak to it, such as: what obstacles did you have to overcome to be here; or what steps can you take now, to bring into your life the change you would like. Everyone could reflect deeply and share an intimate part of themselves, and with our format, people felt safe to really dig deeply. This way of sharing really filled the need to connect authentically. And we celebrated that connection with lots of chatting, laughing, bonding, great camaraderie, and sharing of wisdom.

The other theme that emerged was that, as women, we often spend our lives taking care of others and putting others’ needs first. Taking care of others is a source of great joy, but sometimes, deeply engrained patterns and ways of thinking and behaving prevent us from leading fully actualized lives because we don’t develop the capacity to put ourselves first. We might be workaholics, addicted to being productive or to having everything clean or orderly at all times, or have some other compulsion that makes us put something ahead of our true selves. We have to be aware of our own needs, and know how to meet them, and not let them be drowned out by all the demands that life places on us.

Airline travel teaches us to put our own oxygen mask on first but we often forget that in our daily life. Through talking about this shared reality, we learned that a simple shift can make a big difference. If we admit the need to fill our cup first, so that we can better serve others, it can help us justify doing for ourselves. If we understand that taking care of ourselves is not only good modeling for those we love, but that it also enables us to give our best back. It is, in a sense, our responsibility. We can accomplish this by noticing subtle shifts in our inner state and by cultivating the ability to say yes and no appropriately. Yes please, more of that. No thank you, not now, I can’t do that- for those of us who are unaccustomed- it feels weird and takes practice!

The concepts of giving and receiving, taking in and taking care are aspects of the Earth Element, which is alive in this harvest season between summer and fall. It is really a good time to practice taking in the abundance that is there for all of us, to relish the conscious act of receiving, to cultivate the art of giving from an overflowing self, and to take care of yourself lovingly.

Giving ourselves the gift of experience is a great way to take care of ourselves on a deeply nurturing level. More than possessions or consumables, moving experiences can help us grow, change, learn, and blossom into all that we want to be. They can shake up our life and let those things that don’t serve us filter out, while leaving the things that are truly important and most helpful. Consider putting off that remodel or new gadget and go on a trip or take a class or workshop. We become more through what we do, our life reflects our choices, our capacities grow as we allow new experiences to move us.

Think about joining me in Oaxaca- either in October or next January, for a truly life changing and transformative experience. You will be so happy you did. And if it is a challenge- well, that can be a gift too.

Thanks for reading this! Stay in touch and let me know your thoughts.

I went to a workshop a bit ago- 3 days in the city, indoors with the sun shining through the windows. I was on the fence about going- I don’t like driving in traffic or early morning ferries, or sitting in a room all day, especially in the summer….. But boy, I was glad I went.

Some things are so helpful that we can call them life changing. We hear the thing we have always known but we understand it in a new and clearer way, and we practice it so that we have more choice and clarity, and it becomes ours. We have a flash of insight or a new awareness or just a small shift in our way of being so that we understand ourselves and others better. We become more effective, gentler, less likely to judge, less reactive, more gracious and forgiving, we have more capacity. And we know the world needs people with capacity, people who can hold suffering without taking it on and who can offer a simple invitation to others, the invitation to heal. It was a very useful workshop.

It was called Whole Heart Connection and it was offered by one of my favorite teachers, Thea Elijah. I studied with her extensively when I was a newly graduated acupuncturist and her teachings are one of the reasons that my treatments are as potent as they are. She taught me about the spirit of the points, about vibrational medicine, and the importance of intention. She taught me so many things- she is brilliant and insightful. She helped me deepen my understanding of the Five Elements and the powerful and elegant system that is Chinese Medicine and eastern thought, upon which I base my understanding of health and well being.

This workshop was not about acupuncture, it was about presence. It was about how to stay centered and how to uplift others. It was about communicating, but not verbally or through body language. Instead we practiced subtle, important shifts in our own inner world that could radiate out and impact others. Most of the exercises and practice over the three days were done without any words, but they were deeply moving. We learned about heart, about standing between heaven and earth, about the front and back body, and about the unseen forces that we can turn to. It is now hard to put into words, but the experience has changed me.

Being in the presence of someone who has a developed awareness and a desire to share is so uplifting and helpful! And Thea’s point is that we can all have this and we should go out, make this work our own, and share it. I know I will be using it in my treatments and also offering teachings on my upcoming kayak trips and on the retreat to Oaxaca.

In Oaxaca we work with a woman, Elizabeth, who similarly has deep understanding and awareness. She is an energy worker, intuitive healer and a ceremonialist and we gain the same inspiration for presence and capacity by being with her. The connection to the unknown can be strengthened by these kinds of experiences and that in itself can affect our lives in so many ways. Oaxaca is a place where the unseen world is honored, it is a place where magic lives, and that connection enhances our own capacities.

Join me to explore the inner world while sharing a rich adventure. There are still a few spaces in the August women’s kayak trip and the October journey to Oaxaca is still open. Call now or click here for more info.

Like a compass needle drawn unwaveringly to north, my gaze turns to my to do list. Sweeping past the round flat drops of rain that decorate the skylight, never noticing the new blossoms that are threatening to emerge on the lilac tree, swaying outside the window, or the limb that can be seen from the kitchen sink, heavy and drooping with white balls of bloom- what is that plant called? – no time to wonder or even notice, the day’s chores are calling. The list is a structure that props up and gives form to the emptiness of a life focused on activity. It is a hollow tube through which things flow. It is always filling up- some great spring at its source, bubbling up constantly with more to do. It only gradually empties, a squeezing out of small drips, each completed task pulled from nothingness into accomplishment by a great force of will. That same will that insists that the music of life outside the door should be turned down low.

It is my great organizing principle, this list, the thing that states my priorities and outlines my enoughness. I remember the old days, when I would take a nap and then write it on my list and cross it off, as it was what I accomplished with those golden blissful hours. I have grown too serious, taken too many webinars about productivity, taken on too many projects that require follow up. I would like to write “spontaneous activity” or “unknown adventure” on my list. I wonder if that would change anything. I wonder if I could get away with it.

Saturday it was raining, but I still pulled my head up away from my work and went for a walk. It wasn’t exactly on the list, but it being the weekend, my will was distracted and I could talk it into thinking that there were endless hours left to keep squeezing out the small accomplishments that seem to define my day. I found myself near tears as I drove to meet my friend. Why is my life so filled with tasks that I have no time to live?

The rain paused. The sky lightened and blue sucker holes showed through the leaden clouds. We were by the shore and the water shimmered in the light wind, the waves dancing, the sea lions bellow echoing across the channel. New leaves decorated the woods with colors and textures that blended together into a sea of life. Steph pointed out the plants she loved: the watercress in the ditch, the ferns, the wild cherry tree blossoms. In her presence I came back into the moment and could take in what was before me and it was a sweet relief to see where I was, in my body, on the ground, in this place. I started to pay attention to the world, felt its call. The scent of lilacs wafted through the spring air and almost pierced me with memories and sweetness. The scent was like a song- alive, alive, alive- it spoke to me. Now I could hear the birds and enjoy the unfurling newness of spring growth in its untamable abundance and magnificent diversity. And I see how the garden needs no list to bloom, it has a deep knowing of when and what comes next and how to do it. The season doesn’t consult its priorities, just rolls and grows, and stays open to the next moment.

When I got home I noticed that the lilies in the back yard had grown a foot in the last week. The dishes were still on the counter and the laundry hadn’t moved from its retreat in the basket. I saw the letter was still unedited on the desktop and there were now more emails in the inbox. But the list looked different, it had a different meaning, as if it was written with Chinese characters, and was full of innuendo and suggestion. It beckoned me to look for what was there that I could not see, the very sweet thing that would ease life toward me, the thing that was the real priority and organizing principle- the being present to the moment, the surrender to the gentle flow of the bubbling up and the emptying out, casting my lot with the current, not the effort, and letting my gaze wonder from what I have to do to who I want to be, alive, with the cherry blossoms and lilacs, the sea lions and the wind on the water, alive and enough.

After our journey to Oaxaca, landing at Seatac was a blast of cold air, in more ways than one. I have been integrating our amazing experience so that I can offer a perspective from that magical place that would be meaningful for people here, reeling from the changes in our political landscape.

Our time in Oaxaca gave me a mythic perspective on life. It seems that there are dark forces at work in the world and this darkness is within each of us in some measure. We have to work to cultivate the light, which longs to shine out and overwhelm the darkness. We have to protect ourselves from forces that seek to harm us or stop us. As we are powerful, filled with light, we encounter resistance from the darkness, but we have access to unlimited support, if we cultivate our connection to it.

Finding protection, cultivating our inner light and building support is a deeply personal path of connecting to the elements of nature and of creating simple rituals that enhance our aliveness – baths, candles, altars, special diets, essential oils, the use of color, standing on the earth, bathing in the river, feeling the flames of the fire etc. These are all things that help us know that we are more than we think we are and that, while there is much that we do not understand and many things that we are unaware of, we can find out what we need to know through a deep inner quiet and openness. Some people are more gifted in receiving awareness from this place of connectedness. Healers, curanderos, shamans- we were lucky enough to spend time with these gifted people who were dedicated to helping others cultivate the light within and who could see each persons special needs and considerations.

In a sense we are all healers, as we all are committed to offering the light that we are to the world in a positive way, for the greatest good. I felt that so strongly in Oaxaca, that we all have something to offer and that we are here to support each other in finding and expressing our own unique gifts, and that we all have an intuition we can rely on. And I felt enormous gratitude for Elizabeth and Laurencio, who gifted us with their talents and dedication and shared their insights. They led us in ceremonies and rituals as well as personal sessions, which tapped into our deep ancestral longings to connect, and transported us to places where we could feel a sense of primal aliveness. The earth ceremony, the water ritual, the fire ceremony, the rituals for protection, the gratitude circle- these moving celebrations brought us into alignment with the elements of nature that are alive within us and within all things, so that we could release all blocks to being fully present to what is and to the expression of our full self, as we are meant to be, a light in the world, the light the world needs.

So much of what we experienced in Oaxaca was outside of our norm. It challenged our edges, expanded our worldview, and led us away from our comfort zone into our capacity to feel, know, and understand. It also, hopefully, will help us take action in the name of the light, this desire to be a force for good. It will give us courage, as we can call on unseen forces to support us, it will help us collaborate, as we can admit our own limitations and seek to empower others, it can help us defy authority and work fiercely for what we know to be right, it can help us to stand up for those who need support, those who are the victims of hate, it can help us stay kind and compassionate even in the midst of darkness, it can help us rise up and stay active, defeating our own complacency and inertia, because we can know that we are living in times of opportunity, times when our light is needed as all voices are needed to speak out for our planet and all beings who are threatened. We are connected and we are here now, answering some call that we may not understand, that compels us to be more than we thought we could be, and to know that we are all here together, warriors for the light.

It is now clear to all that we have to defend and protect those things we care about- our freedoms, our democracy, our planet. We cannot expect our political leaders to serve anything but their own interests. We the people have to claim our power and our responsibility. By holding tightly to a vision of what we would like to see in the world, and and finding the courage and strength to share our truth, we can be midwives for a new era.

I hope everyone finds the quality of renewal and support that we found. I was told that I have to continue to bring people to Oaxaca, to sit with the shamans there. It is part of my work in the world. So join me next time….