Talking to friends, counselors, and the wise ones in our life is a great way to have a chance to listen to ourselves and to our story. We can share our deepest feelings, knowing that we will not be judged, or dismissed, or have to listen to inappropriate advice that only makes us realize that we haven’t been heard.

And we can listen to ourselves. If we are open to inquiry, we can gain a lot of valuable information. What are we talking about and what does it mean for us? Why is this alive for us? Are we complaining or just musing about our feelings, and is there some wisdom to be gained from the things that bother us? Is there a different way to think about things, one that feels better?

So often, we need a venue for our concerns, and having our feelings acknowledged can give us the time and space to explore for ourselves, and to come up with answers about what we need to do and what changes would serve our growth. Sometimes reflective listening helps us clarify, and a kind of open-ended questioning can open up new avenues of inquiry. Listening effectively is an art, and can be really helpful.

In my practice, I always make time to listen to people.  So often, it guides my treatment as I intuit what the underlying and deeper issues are, the patterns of thought that are associated with physical ailments. Also, it is part of the healing. It is actually rare in our busy culture, where we are taught to be productive at all costs, to have the time and space to explore our concerns in a spacious way.

In my work with groups, I facilitate intentional story telling. It is a powerful practice. I like to give people the space to tell their life story and to create a group of compassionate, open hearted listeners , who can bear witness. Telling your life story can be an exercise in reframing your past, and healing old wounds as you can choose what to focus on, and notice how you worked through challenges, and overcame obstacles. When life gives us challenges, we can be tempted to be victims of our circumstances and sometimes, we tell stories that validate our victimhood and “get us off the hook”. If we can tell our life story from a place of responsibility, we can see where we are still stuck, but also how far we have come in creating our life as a journey that serves our growth.

Sometimes our story has us traveling through the fog. Sometimes we are blessed with sunshine. It is in recognizing that we have the skills to keep on, no matter what, that we can be grateful for all the circumstances that have brought us to where we are.

In both the upcoming Women’s Transformational Kayak Journeys and the Magic and Medicine of Oaxaca trip, I intend to use story telling as a way of deepening into the group experience and of growing in self-acceptance.